See that little cutie? Most of the time, I feel very blessed to work from home so I can spend all day hanging out with him.
Notice I said most of the time. The flip side of getting to spend all day with my son is that I spend all day with my son. I’m generally an independent, need-my-space kind of person, so having someone — even a little someone — constantly clinging to me and depending on me is wearying. Some days it feels like I can’t finish typing a sentence without some kind of interruption, much less cook dinner or fold laundry or anything else. At times, I feel like I’m slowly going insane.
So, last night, when my hubby had to run back into town for an errand, he offered to take the baby and the dog so I could have some “cave time.” (That’s Hubby’s term for alone time.) At first, I balked like usual, thinking I didn’t want to burden my husband and I should be able to handle taking care of one small family, for Pete’s sake! Then I realized that the baby would be little trouble for my hubby since he loves riding in the car, and — truthfully now — I really wanted that cave time! Hubby took Eli and the dog and left me to my own devices for almost two hours.
Oh, what a blessing that time was! I didn’t do anything special. Mostly, I just watched a silly TV show and got ahead on some work, but that’s not the point. I got to do what I wanted when I wanted to…all by myself! When my hubby, nephew, baby and dog got home, I was refreshed and ready to shoulder my responsibilities again. I had a better attitude and even felt rested though I hadn’t slept.
Do other mothers feel like this or am I just a bad mommy? Well, I don’t really know, but I’ve come to the conclusion that it doesn’t really matter. Maybe I’m a bad mommy but it’s probably better for my son to have a sane mommy, good or bad. I’m so thankful that my hubby offered — insisted, really — to cart the family to town so I could have a break. Next time, I don’t think I’ll jump at the chance for some cave time!